His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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