youre lurking in front of me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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