Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
