I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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