o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
