So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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