No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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