Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water