do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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