Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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