You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize