i permit you to call me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
