you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
