I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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