My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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