If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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