Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize
