I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
