we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
