I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
