Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
