look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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