I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
