It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
