I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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