You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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