We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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