My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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