DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
