she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
