I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize