He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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