Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wish my penis had a tongue
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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