He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
