Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
they need to just BURY HIM!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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