We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize