I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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