Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
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I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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