they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
