...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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