i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
