my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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