why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
