I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
