went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
