don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the day after is always just damage control
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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