what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
