your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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