There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
