All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
