i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
