Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
