Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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