Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
